Is
it really too hard for all of us now to learn how to flirt?, are we beyond the neanderthal
approach in our sophisticated modern world that we have created for
ourselves or maybe is it just too silly?
It's our belief that too many of us can over-analyse the
situation, so maybe it time to sit back and learn how to flirt and have fun at
the same time.
4 Pillars of Flirting
I believe there are 4 cornerstones, or pillars of flirting that make someone
a good flirt.
These are Attitude, Awareness, Flexibility and Intention.
How is attiture important? Consider you life as a movie. Where you are the writer, the actor, the
director and editor of this movie.
You get to choose the scene and you also get to choose the
ending. You get to choose what you focus on and this in turn sets the scene for
you movie.
Now,
if you don't like anything that is happening in your movie then you change the
movie.
So aside from external circumstances beyond out control, we can
have control over our own movie.
We can control the attitude, the lines of our mutual dialogue,
our flexibility in the way we react, our awareness in what we focus on and our
intention by directing the movie.
The only problem is we cannot control other actors, the people
we come across during the course of our life. We cannot stop people from not liking us or wanting to talk to
us.
Remember what we believe about others affects how we treat them, and in turn,
how they respond to us.
Learning How to Flirt
Practice makes perfect. The first step is to
make sure you practice. It does not have to be with the
one guy or girl you have had your eye on this last
year, but anyone beyond the ring of your closest family
or friends would help. In
fact it is easier to learn how to flirt when there is less at stake sometimes. But remember
you have to be careful. You don't want to hurt anyone in the course of
your practice. It should be harmless flirting. Make your intentions clear that is nothing serious but just
harmless flirting.
Learn how to flirt - what do we need to practice?
If there was one area or flirting tip to practice for most
people it is 'eye contact'.
Eye
Body Language
First of all practice
making eye contact with whomever you meet or even pass
in the street. It is great for self confidence.
Make sure that in your work place and
friends and family you make eye contact. Gaining self confidence will not hurt you in any
case.
Put it another way - when you have felt less than confident - how
much eye contact do you give? Probably not much.
Well why not put the cart before the horse and learn how to flirt
with the basics, and start making eye contact and watch your confidence
grow.
Secondly, it gives you that all important practice at maintaining
eye contact while your knees start to shake or you feel queezy looking at that
cute guy or girl - and doing this until you get used to it.
Now before you start
walking around your neighbourhood eyeing every man, women and child like a
social outcast, let us set the ground rules. You have to do subtly and
politely.
First, practice just walking past someone in the street ..... Just try
smiling and making eye contact with them.
Don't be discouraged
if they don't return your smile. For many people, others will
not smile back straight away at the beginning but that's all part of
our practice and learning here.
Overcoming Fear of Rejection
In fact
its critical as we develop our new confidence - not based on others thoughts or
reactions.
Just try and practice this at least a few times per day. If you do
nothing else for this week, just keep making eye contact to build that
confidence.
If
you are chatting with someone, just make sure you aren't looking at your
feet but instead concentrating on the person's face. Look away once in a while so they don't
think you are staring them down of course.
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